Tuesday, September 16, 2014
10. The Guy On The Train
This is that guy who's on the train with you sometimes, and he's just going about his business, like a doof.
9. Some Doof
This doofstick is just doofin' around your neighborhood, with absolutely no regard for you, regardless of your regard for him.
8. Wheelchair Individual
Some individual stands out, because he can't stand up, so you just stare at him, regularly, and think, I wonder if this guy could walk before, or if he was born with his legs bitten off by a killer whale.
7. Tim Johnson
You're seein' Tim around, because he's your roommate. Or you're seeing some other person.
Full of salesmanship, the salesman wants so badly for you to purchase his piece of crap merchandise that blows.
5. Your Grandma
Your Grandma is always around, and it's really getting on your nerves, mostly because she's irrelevant.
He is skateboarding past you right now (couldn't land a simple kickflip to save his life, though).
There are blobs everywhere. Admit it.
1. Man Fighting A Swan
A grown-ass man spending his entire Saturday knocking a beautiful swan unconscious with a folding chair. This guy is a real nutcase. Or is he? Who are you to judge? I really think the important thing to remember, here, is that you have absolutely no idea what happened between this guy and the swan before you decided to get nosy. Mind your business. Admit that you should mind your beeswax.
Sunday, September 7, 2014
1. The New York Times is going to allude to it in the latest issue of Sports Illustrated for Kids.
2. The Atlantic will use it as a reference for important research on postmodern blogging of the 21st century (This particular blog post is very postmodern; in fact, it's so postmodern that I can't even finish this sent--).
3. The Atlantic Ocean will use it.
Anyway, this is how you play GTA V while exercising Gandhi's unique approach of active nonviolent resistance: You walk around. You look at stuff. You lose.