Beach Cookie

Hey now, for certain. I have clearly experienced the beach today. I can tell, because I feel well-sunned and reborn. Nothing like that moving water and brackish air to bring a sense of renewal to those that need a good molting. During our bus ride home, I even noticed my skin peeling a little bit on my forearms. This made me know I had done something right. Like a serpent, I was shedding my skin and leaving it on the floor for others to tread upon, while I moved forward, a new man. Unlike a serpent, I walked off the bus.

"Which beach?" you might ask. Rockaway Beach. Totally a good beach. I can't believe that beach is a part of New York City. I dominated that beach, because it was askin' for it. That beach is so nice it's just beggin' for my silverback status to be asserted all over its sandy expanse. I made that beach my bitch. You don't even know.

At one point, a wave knocked me off balance and I floundered, ignominiously, in shallow water while scratching my knees on small, jagged seashells. My girlfriend witnessed this episode, and I felt shame, but I arose from the surf's foamy clutches, and although I had sand all over my disheveled swim trunks, I gave the raging sea another go. (It had hit me from behind, by the way. That's the only way it could have ever taken me down like that.) I find that the waves at Rockaway Beach are big and powerful, but small and weak compared to me, so I never let them take me down again. Thorough, overarching dominion, by me, over the frothy ocean.

I bought a couple of icies from the icy guy. The icy guy at Rockaway Beach is not as good as the icy guy outside the McDonald's near my apartment. I bought the white icy, and I thought it would taste like citrus (which would be refreshing), but, instead, the flavor was coconut, and this displeased me. Then it melted and began to drip into the sand, after cascading down my knuckles. I hate that. I didn't complete the icy.

The biggest highlight of my day was the chocolate chip cookie I bought from Lord's Photocakes in Midwood. I purchased the cookie, stored it in the cooler, and ate it on the beach. The cookie was fantastic, and it was huge and round, so I was able to share it with my friends. Are round things easier to share? Possibly. I wish I had another one of those cookies right now.

Great beach day, though. Whenever I go to the beach, I am reminded of Paddington Bear. One of the most memorable Paddington Bear books, for me, was the one about his trip to the beach. He gets into all sorts of trouble and wears inflatable arm floaties.

Paddington Bear is a good bear and a great children's book. He's way better than Curious George, who's a bit of an a-hole. Curious George wants so bad to be Paddington Bear, but he can't, because he sucks. I love Paddington Bear and his quest for marmalade. I respect him. I also like Corduroy and The Berenstain Bears. There's some great children's reading out there that involves bear characters. Nice. Way better than Curious George, who has a retail store in Harvard Square, and would be the type to have such a store, because he wants to make a profit from his cheap merchandise, because his books aren't good enough to stand alone.

Gummy Bears are a good snack and a good cartoon. Take that, Curious George, you bastard. No one likes you.

Good beach day, though.

Paddington Bear rules. Read him to your kids.