I guess New York City just gets tornadoes and golf ball sized hail now. I guess that's just a part of daily life in today's NYC.
Tonight, a tornado flew past my apartment. A tornado. Probably. I don't really know, okay? But it looked--and felt--like a wild vortex was twirling down my street and spitting chunks of hail all over the place. I was afeared. I had to stop making pasta e fagioli for a second and observe the scene. When I looked out the window, I saw high winds and bizarre precipitation. My dog's primal senses were on red alert. He bumbled around the house and ran into stuff with his big head. My cat was also really nervous, but he just sat there with this expression on his face: "What in heaven's name is going on out there on the streets? I'm a cat and I'm afraid that I am about to die."
So I guess I just have to watch out for tornadoes, now. That's great. They say if you're in the eye, nothing happens. It's supposed to be peaceful in the eye. The only way to find out if that's true is to watch the movie Twister.
I felt pretty safe as the tornado passed by, because I live in a sturdy, brick building. If you don't live in a brick building, watch out, because a tornado might touch down and blow your body to pieces. We've all read the Three Little Pigs. There's an important theme in there: Live in a brick house, otherwise, you might be swept into the heavens by a funnel cloud and torn to ribbons.
I'm drinking a delicious tap water. These tornadoes better not screw up Brooklyn's tap water recipe.
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