Monday, June 17, 2013

Timmy Disgustufson's Haus

I still haven't finished Moby-Dick. It's been about a year since I started. It's not even that the book is hard to read. It's actually not that hard to read. It's just that I haven't been reading at all for these last few months. It doesn't feel good not to read. The problem is that I no longer have a long subway commute. I ride my bike to work everyday, nowadays, and it's really great, but the trade off is that I don't get the train reading time.

I am getting ready to continue the book, though. I have been reading the SparkNotes on the chapters I have already read, just to refresh my memory. I had forgotten some stuff about the characters. For instance, I couldn't remember which guy was a dick: Stubb or Flask. Turns out it was Flask. What a dick that guy is. But Stubb is the one who got disrespected by Ahab. Ahab really put him in check.

The book is just sitting on my nightstand, as I write this. Just sitting there, neglected.

Today I had an artisan ice cream sandwich that really pissed me off. I got it from Cool Haus. They had a truck in the Prospect Park food truck rally. They just took two cookies and shoved a glob of ice cream in the middle, and charged me six bucks. Then, the ice cream melted at a geometric rate and dripped all over my hands and shoes. I was a mess. I had to hurry and finish the ice cream before it melted all over the place. As a result, I couldn't enjoy it. Melted ice cream disgusts me. Also, the chips in the chocolate chip cookies that bookended the ice cream were melting. I hate melted chocolate chips. The whole thing was a shitshow. Cool Haus sucks.

Cool Haus sucks so bad that the name of their food truck should be, "Crappy Chipwich," because that's what they give you. It's an ice cream dump truck that dumps poorly-constructed chocolate chip cookie sandwiches all over Grand Army Plaza. It takes a dump in your neighborhood and in your mouth. That truck sucks. I didn't like the guy in there, either. He would be the type to work in a truck that sucks. Nice sucks. Who wants to pay six bucks to a guy who sells stuff that sucks out of a truck that sucks? I think some dripped onto my shorts, too, because there's a stain there, now, that wasn't there before. My clothes are besmirched like those of a slovenly child. Cool Haus, unfortunately, is the house of Timmy Disgustufson, and I was foolish enough to cross its sloppy threshold.

I had a Nantucket Nectar earlier in the day that was good, though.  

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