Monday, October 22, 2012

Aaron the Dog

My dog met another dog named Lucy, today.  She was so small and coquettish.  They got along well.  He met her while he was playing with his best dog friend, Aaron.  Aaron and Franklin (my dog) were UFC fighting each other in a playground in Fort Greene, and then this woman came over with Lucy, and everyone had a blast.

Then I found out that Aaron has smegma leaking out of his penis.  Every day, my friend has to squeeze the green smegma out of there, by hand, in much the same way a farmer plies the udder of a cow.  Just pinching and tugging until the sludgy discharge is freed from its dick prison.  They took Aaron to the veterinarian to get it checked out, and the veterinarian lady said the smegma was not a problem unless Aaron's penis leaked more than a tablespoon a day.  A TABLESPOON a day.  I'm glad she used a cooking utensil as a point of reference for dog smegma.  I'll think of that next time I make pancakes.  "Mmm, this is delicious flapjack batter.  Could use a touch of dog smegma, though.  Quick, prepare the measuring spoons and your dog's crotch."

 Otherwise, Aaron is the picture of health.  He has such a shiny coat.      

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