Sunday, June 27, 2010

The Texture is Soft

My girlfriend and I now have a new couch. The thing was quite a steal. We bought it from a musician person in the Upper East Side, which is a very nice neighborhood, indeed! That means the couch must be perfect and couldn't possibly contain a demon. (I've seen Paranormal Activity; I know what demons are capable of. I also know that demons are cowards.) I'll punch a demon in the throat.

Raise your hand if you've ever seen a demon. That's what I thought.

So this new couch is really something special. It feels very soft. The texture, I mean. The texture is soft. The cushioning is soft, too, but not too soft, if you know what I mean. I don't like couches that are too soft, because they can be uncomfortable. A little bit of firmness is nice.

My girlfriend and I traveled to the top of the Empire State Building. It was stellar. I suggest going at midnight, then you avoid the extreme crowds and insufferable line. At peak times, that line will kill a man. We're talking a three hour wait, at least. Go at midnight; you'll wait 30 minutes, max. And get the "Audio Tour." It gives you all types of interesting trivia. For instance, I learned that that slanted Citigroup building was originally supposed to have solar panels on the slanted roof, but then they never put the solar panels on there. Pretty cool, eh?

On your way to the top of the Empire State Building, they force you to pose for a picture. We posed. Then I decided to buy the picture, on our way out, for approximately $23. Total rip-off, but now I have a sweet magnet frame, with a cool picture inside of it, that can always remind me of my journey to the top of the Empire State Building with my sweetpea.

I was riding my bicycle through the Bronx on Saturday (I had taken this CPR course at my school), and I rode past those Israelite Church of God in Jesus Christ guys. I have mentioned them before in this blog. They hate white people a lot. As I rode my bike closer to the guys, I heard them explaining how white people are dogs and how we smell and look like hell. I rode my bike past him, and this little kid ran in front of me in the crosswalk. I thought about how bad the timing would have been if I had struck the kid with my bike. The Israelite Church of God guy would have been like, "You see! I told you! The devil!!" Luckily, I didn't hit the kid with my bicycle, at all.

I have a comedy show coming up on Thursday, July 1st. I'm excited. I haven't performed for a real crowd for so long. I plan to blow the roof off that place. Kapow!

Office Space is a hilarious movie. I like when they beat up the fax machine. Haha. That movie just keeps getting better and better for me. I like when movies or songs improve with age.

What age are you? Mull that one over for a second. Grow a mullet for a second.

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